Secrets.

I like secrets. I find them intriguing. Arousing even. Very interesting.

I enjoy having secrets. I enjoy stumbling upon other peoples' secrets. I don't like to share them however, because they are mine and this is what makes them special. No one else knows.

I'll never tell.

Tell what??

I don't know what you are talking about.

I'm going to quit screwing off now and get back to work.

Mermaids and Nerds and Cloves, oh my!

What an amazing evening for a Gallery Night stroll! This was my first Gallery Night in years, so I felt like a born again, re-popping my cherry, and it was awesomely awesome. My first stop was Paper Boat. Loved loved loved the portraits by Micaela O'Herlihy, which came with little stories about her 10 year old son's bullies. Both amazing portrait work and also some bittersweet memories of my own awful pre-teen years. Most def my favorite work of the evening. I also purchased a most wonderful mermaid shadow puppet for my wee one. She has a fascination with mermaids, and she insists that she is one. Interesting, no?? Then I flew up to The Armoury, where I was entranced by a piece with birds soaring over a body of water created with rice paper over a video screen, so soothing. Embarrassingly I forgot the artist tho, my bad yall. I'm a jerk, sorry. Then I headed over to the Third Ward, where I circled for a good 30 minutes in search of parking, slightly on the verge of road rage-ish, but mostly kicking myself in my own ass mentally for not owning some sort of moped. Anyway, after forking out my $10 happily to finally ditch my car, I ventured to several fine establishments - Water Buffalo, Cedar Gallery, Hot Pop, to name a few. Hop Pop: Brent, thank you for insisting. I was SO happily mcslappily giddy about this show. Dwella vs. Ella rocked my world and then some. Dwellephant + 6 year old girl = me jumping for joy inside. This was so inspiring to me. For seriously. I almost bought a few pieces but then I remembered I am broke, so I had to silently admire and circle the show like a vulture about 3 times. Perhaps I smiled in a creepy like fashion, but my heart was filled with such immense joy I could not help it. I didnt want it to end. Cedar Gallery is awesome. I really enjoyed Bridget Griffith Evans' birds. Especially the two 'fast' ones in the corner. My pal Kileigh and I had a moment of discussing said 'fast' birds, one had a lot of movement in its long tail, the one next to it had a lot of movement in the negative space, both fast but in different ways, as noted by my fab lady pal. Fantastic use of negative space. I am a big fan of negative space and all its potential. Gene Evans work rocked out as well. The Evans's always consistently create engaging interesting work. Thumbs up guys! It was a very lovely evening. I really wish it went later, honestly though. I really enjoyed just breathing in fresh air, strolling about in nice weather, people watching, chatting. Ah. Love it. Love it. Love it. Lets do it again soon Milwaukee, mkay?? For seriously tho, as cute as it might have appeared, strutting about the town in 4 inch heels is a waaaaaaaayyyy better idea at the beginning of the night ;)

Ok guys, I am so very pleased that I captured my impressions immediately upon returning home. Now I shall retire, nerding out to the max in my dreams, dreaming of art-making amidst the fine fine scents of clove cigarettes and magic in the air. Electric magic in the air, to be exact. So much electricity, I might not be able to sleep. However, I must wake early with a wee mermaid! I wonder if tiny mermaids like blueberry pancakes? To hell with it, I LOVE blueberry pancakes, so the mermaid might have to just deal with it. :)

4.17.09

Tonight is Gallery Night - Woot woot! I am excited to get out tonight and do some schmoozing and see what everyone has been up to. I love to check out my friends' art and meet new people & artists. And it should be a most perfect day for it as well, considering that it appears as though spring might just finally be upon us here in Milwaukee. Hopefully it will prove to be a very inspiring day/evening!! But I've learned its best to let go of one's expectations and just go with it, so we shall see what comes of it all. So many spots on my list that I'd like to hit up tonight. Will there be time for it all? Mental note to self to remember my camera and a stack of business cards.

It amuses me.

Part of being an artist is exposing yourself to your audience. Raw unfiltered bits of your soul, just out there for everyone to see. But often those glimpses come with little or no explanation, so it is subject to interpretation. Then in a way, the art becomes the viewer's own experience and has little or nothing to do with the artist anymore. So perhaps being an artist is a little like being a psychic medium, merely channeling energy for others, serving others needs. Maybe even a tad like a prostitute. Used and tossed aside. Unless, of course, the artist is somehow benefitting from this process as well. Maybe the viewer is using the artist for said experience. But perhaps, the artist is also using the viewer, maybe even without their knowledge. Reclaiming their identity. Reinventing themselves.

With every highly inspiring day or period of time, for me, is generally followed by a crash, exhaustion. I pour so much of myself into what I do, and then I withdraw, tired of it all. But then out of my own ashes I find some new interest or inspiration and the cycle begins again. Never dead, just overwhelmed. Then underwhelmed.

Sometimes I think you're not listening. Maybe I should start over.

Its like having an intense crush on someone. Butterflies when they speak to you, or when you even think about them.

And then BAM.

One day it just hits you. You're over it. Then a stretch of time passes since you've spoken to them or even thought about them, something reminds you, and you rediscover that its still there, just wasn’t on the forefront of your mind. Ah, but its fun! Its certainly a magical feeling to look at a piece that I made years ago and recapture that same lust. Powerful. Addicting. Hott rush. Like being 13 years old again and having the biggest crush of your life, legs turning into noodles, sweaty palms, heart racing. Just thinking about it now makes my toes tingle...

Do I have your attention yet?

I can hear you breathing.

I can feel your hot breath on my ear, my neck. Wanting. Urgent.

That is what I’m talking about. The chase. The buildup. The toe-curling climax. The bittersweet afterglow, accompanied by a hint of let down that the whole affair has come full circle. Looking for that next fix. Searching. Lost and abandoned. Then like a slap across the face when you least expect it, the next one arrives. And it feels amazing, like it will never end.

But you know better now. Not 13 anymore. Made enough art by now. Been through this before. Know its not going to last. Better to just let go and enjoy the moment. Lose yourself in it. Forget about tomorrow and make some damn art.

Robots.

Dammit. I've been thinking about this all day and I go to search for it and apparently someone complained and had it pulled off YouTube, so here is Mike Sullivan talking about his movie in progress, "Sex Machines".

04.07.2009

So I was just walking, nice day out, perhaps enough caffeine today to qualify for mania status, and as I passed a restaurant I could see the bartender talking to a patron and the sun reflected on his eyes in a most creepy manner. Stark white. Vacuous. Soulless. And as my head is constantly going a million miles a minute, this somehow brings me to, 'man it would totally suck to be a robot'. And then it hit me like a thousand hyperactive children jumping up and down, begging for ice cream. Inspiration. Mania. And so it begins, again...

Ah! I wish I had time to write more!!